It's NOT Funny How Things Work Out

It's so true that things change after high school. People who you'd thought would be in your life forever are nothing but a mere memory and people that you didn't think twice about are now part of your everyday life. Some use the common phrase, "It's funny how things work out", but with certain aspects of life, I don't think it's funny at all. I see it as quite sad actually.

I constantly sit and reminisciss about the past and how things are so much different than they were a year ago today.

A year ago today I was in a relationship with my first "real" boyfriend. (Ex-bf now)If I remember correctly, our Winter Formal was yesterday lol. I remember absolutely loving that night. He looked so handsome in his shirt and tie that we had had went shopping for together to make sure it matched my dress (it ended up being off by a few shades lol) and he wouldn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked. He picked me up and we were on our way to a friend's house for a pre-party. We held hands the whole way there; I loved holding his hand when he was driving...
We arrived at our friend's house and had a little reunion, took a few pictures, and then we were off. We strolled into the hall with our group of friends. We headed straight for the dance floor without hesitation. We took little water breaks to hydrate ourselves every now and then, but we'd be back to dancing within seconds.
I danced with my boyfriend the whole night. I remember when it came to the slow slongs, whatever song it was, I'd sing it to him in his ear in my horrible pitchy singing voice. He didn't care that I sounded horrible though; he thought it was cute.
The night went by so fast and before we knew it, our Senior Year Winter Formal had come to its end. One momentous senior moment down, a few left before it was all over.

Fast forwarding to present time:

The boy who I had one of the most amazing nights with, the boy who I was absolutely crazy about, the boy who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with is now the boy who I don't greet when I see him; he's now the boy that I make rude comments about when his name is brought up; he's now the boy who I've grown to hate more than anyone in the world.
I don't think the way things worked out (or didn't work out in this case) is funny in anyway whatsoever. It's sad; it's hurts; I hate that things are like this.

But that's just how things worked out.

Motivation.

So lately, when it comes to my schoolwork, I either have intense spurts of determination, or I'm extremely lazy and I have no desire to do anything. I usually get motivated to do my homework after I talk to my dad which is between one to three times a week, still, I should be motivated and determined at all times. I haven't talked to my dad today, other than a quick text message conversation about me setting aside a date for us to go to the bank, however I did have an epiphany. I realized I need to get on the ball with things. I mean I'm doing okay so far this quarter, but I could be doing much better. I decided I needed to be motivated at all times and I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out how to do that. I felt pretty lame but I decided to google motivational quotes and sure enough, like a million results popped up. I went to a few sights, and read through them, and wrote down a few that I liked. I picked five from the ones that I had written down and drew them each on blank paper with highlighters and funky lettering along with some colorful doodling. Once they were decorated enough, I taped them up next to my bed.

I figure that if I see them every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up, they'll serve as my motivation and inspiration to not only stay on top of my schoolwork, but excel at it also.